Wine and Cheese

A common topic for authors, songwriters, screenwriters, etc. is the combination of two unrelated things bringing about a great, unexpected result. This is one of those. What you see above is quite possibly Ground Zero for the "college radio / alternative rock" movement. As with the ever-popular "who was the first punk band" discussion, this statement might generate a lengthy, passionate debate. So, in the interests of time, I'm going to apologize to Replacements fans right now. And that's enough from you, Thurston Moore. What you see above is a test pressing of Murmur, the first album by REM. This is, like it or not, a record that changed the course of things. It is a relic from a moment just before the music industry realized it needed to pay attention to places never heard from before. It is a combination of two unrelated things that brought this relic to me. Well in this case it was two things that are commonly lumped together, operating independently.

Cheese. Summer 1991. I am working in a store called "The Cheese Shop". I took this job because my friend was working there and they needed an extra hand. I thought it would be great to have a friend to work with. The hateful witch that ran the place thought otherwise and carefully scheduled us so we literally never laid eyes on each other in the workplace. The job was awful. Gourmet food preparation. The overpriced soup was really Heinz out of gallon-sized cans. The warm bagels were brought in cardboard boxes from some warehouse and heated in an oven. It didn't actually SAY they were made there but everything about the place led the customers to think they were. Needless to say, we were allowed to eat as much soup and as many bagels as we wanted. Don't touch the cheese though. DO NOT TOUCH THE CHEESE! I just wanted to know what it tasted like - please don't hit me Ms. Witch! Anyhow, every Friday at around 6:00 PM, Ms. Witch would pay me in cash. The highway home at that time was always jammed up so it only made sense to head down the road a mile or so to the local used record store.

Wine. There aren't a lot of careers that actually encourage drinking on the job but running a filthy used record store may be one of them. The gentleman who ran this particular store was typically in a pretty unpredictable state by the early evening. I had ingratiated myself to this man by driving him home a few times when it was raining at closing time and getting behind the wheel would have been an unwise move for him. With this in mind, I had learned to time my arrival to get the most for my money. On one muggy Friday evening during the summer of 1991, I drove to the store, cash in hand, hoping to catch my prey. I walked in and the conditions were perfect.

1) Empty bottle of wine on the counter
2) Second bottle of wine almost empty next to it
3) 1 glass
4) He's holding it

Yes! All I needed to do was make some small talk, refuse a few drinks and start the negotiation process. You see, I had already found the REM test pressing a few weeks prior to this. The problem was that I found it at noon on a weekday and he was as sharp as a tack. He told me it was going to cost me a lot. How much? A lot. "I can't even sell it to you it's going to be so much." So I put the record back, Well, not back where I found it. I put it somewhere else in the store, behind some junk, knowing I needed the right circumstances to get him to part with it. So in I walk. We say hello. He offers me some wine and then realizes he's got none left to offer anyhow. He tells me I need to listen to more Radio Birdman or Cramps or whatever he was always pushing. Someone else walks in and he turns his attention to them. I head to my hiding spot and pull out the record. I grab a couple other items, stick the prize item in between them and head to the functioning alcoholic / proprietor to get a price for them all. Nothing in the store was ever priced. Prices were decided at the moment of truth. When he gets to the test pressing he looks at it and says exactly what I wanted to hear :

"Don't you want one with a cover?"

Indeed.